She was an associate of my mothers. I don’t remember exactly who this woman was or how my mom knew her but her words ring clearly to this day. The circumstances was nothing major. I wasn’t arguing with her or anything like that. Perhaps I was too nonchalant about her presence at that moment or too aloof to whatever she may have been saying. I don’t know but she said to me, “You’re not a nice girl anymore like when your mother was here.” Mind you my mother went to Paradise in October and I moved out of state in February. So her judgement, her assessment, her analysis of me was based off of a less than 4 month tragic event. Not to mention, I didn’t remember this woman, not then at that moment in which I was probably still living in shock, so it had to have been someone whom I only met a handful of times. I was 21 years old, just turned 21, barely an adult. She had known Goretty in pigtails perhaps, which a fun fact I use to call doo-doo braids lol. Anyway, the fact was she didn’t really know me, not truly. And even if she did, was that something to say? Those words penetrated deep in my mind. I carried those words.
My mother’s death was full of first for me. I never had experienced true lost, betrayal of a close friend, or had I ever experience real disapproval of an adult before her death.
I’m not nice anymore, hymph…I wondered what else I wasn’t.
Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken.
…I’m just sayin’