So it wasn’t until the moment when I started to write the draft for this blog post that I realized the occurrence happened on Friday the 13th. L.O.L. Once again God proved to me He has a sense of humor.
So I was rushing to get this and that done so I would make it out to my spiritual sister’s birthday dinner. Dressed, check. Pick up my nephew for his weekend sleepover, check. Get to the church to help set up, check. Don’t forget the table covers I washed to bring back, check. Get to the church and give a helping hand. More hands make work light as we like to say. Running a bit behind but it’s okay. Finally done and rushing out the door. Still needed to go pick up flowers for the birthday girl on the way. Thank goodness I already had the card. Exiting the green double doors to the school, which we transformed to our worship house and there she was, the pastor’s wife.
“Are you leaving”, she asked? “Don’t leave”, she insisted. I was obedient and curious. As she finished speaking to another sister she turned to me and with sincere eyes she stated more or less that her Spirit was nudging her to ask me for assistance in preparing for the upcoming mother’s day church festivities. My eyebrows raised and my heart fluttered. She went on talking about my creativity and happiness when serving in that way. God was doing it again. I mean really? Me, mother’s day? Seriously? Could I take this on? That’s a whole lot of “mother” business in my face all at once. Was I ready? Am I ready? I told her I was humbled and honored by the request and would pray on it. I told her I would give thought to what could be put together for the women. I honestly wanted to sink down to the ground and run screaming I don’t even have a mother. Of course I didn’t and I was convinced this was all part of His healing process for me.
And so, after planning and decorating, I helped serve the various mothers and their children that played about, feasting on the goodies meant for their mothers, and playing catch with loose balloons, I was surprisingly joyful. The pain I had come so accustomed to feeling around this holiday had been replaced with the feeling of arms around me. The tears I kept back replaced with laughter, my own, my children, and all the laughter in the decorated gym. I could actually hear the laughter. It wasn’t just another set of noises this time. The aching was replaced by so many hugs. I missed my mother so much of course, but this time, this mothers day, I wasn’t faking the happiness, the inner joy. The event went off without a hitch, in so many ways.
That evening, I slipped, well almost. I don’t know if it was the quietness of a settled day that had once been so long and rallied up, a flash of memory or perhaps the sad scene that just played on the television, but whatever it was, the sadness was finding its way in. This time though, this time I was more prepared. More aware. Where once I hated the constant reminders of an awaken consciousness I now held those reminders dearly. Being aware of what I was feeling, was about to feel and why instead of hiding from it made it easier to call out to Him in the shower as I did. Yes, the shower. We’re all familiar with singing in the shower but there’s something to be said about worshipping in the showered. I praised. I thanked. I cried and I sang. The water fall above cleansed me as he cleansed my thoughts and filled me back up with the afternoons joy. And then some.
…It was a good day. It was a joyful day. I pray that your days are filled with joy even in the mist of your pain and loss…however long ago. Be blessed reader.