There were those times I wondered, “What was He thinking when He allowed it so, that this would be the cross I would have to bear?” That this was my thing to handle when people said, “He doesn’t give you what you can’t handle.” I wondered but instantly knew better, “What if He got it wrong?” The hurt, overbearing, the loneliness, hollow, the anguish, a pit. Surely not me, surely not this cross, this destruction of a life was not mine to bear. Am I not destined to fail even if I win, this being my cross?
I was at that age of defiance and my stuff don’t stink mode when my mother was taken away. You can only imagine the guilt.
Another heap added atop that cross, my cross.
How long after the thought of me that made me into existence did He finally say okay that moment would be the allowed time? When the time came I suppose. After-all, his word is truth. Once he says it, allows it, it is so.
I delight in knowing his words about me give me more power over the cross that was set for me.
How? Well for one, He took it up for me when I let him. The weight of it all that He took on… has made me light and able to go on.
He knew I could bear it because He knew He’d be there to take what was too much for me.
Knowing this do I still have my moments of doubt and take back on what He willingly took for me? Absolutely. I am human. I am flawed. I can be downright dumb at times. But He knows this too. And He is still here, arms wide open to return peace and lightness to your life. My life.
Thanks for reading. Be at peace. Give it to Him.
Piece by piece Finding Peace...Layers of Goretty 