My expectations were, to say the least, none existent but my hope of a time well spent, unmeasurable. I actually couldn’t believe it, I was actually going back.

The trip had been planned one evening on a slight whim after confirming with a relative of room and board for the entire family. I never thought at that moment it would happen due to all the times that the trip didn’t happen. My mind had been made up a long time ago that I wasn’t going to push the subject or make my own way of going back since it was clear God was blocking my path. And so life went on, happily for the most time, I might add. A little over 5 years plus another son later, I found myself in the air on my way back to Massachusetts, this past Christmas.

Perhaps it was the renewed sense of peace I had gained throughout the years or the nostalgia of remembering where I came from and how far I’ve come…not in materialistic ways but within myself…but this trip, this trip was different from all the others before it. I wondered if all the other trips had been so calm and relaxed if I would’ve stayed away so long? Would I have taken things into my own hands to seek out family and friends regardless of the obvious need to let go and heal?  Probably so. We hardly know what’s good for us during good times little lone in the midst of hard times. Thank goodness for the trials that are actually there to protect us from ourselves.