Being stripped

It became harder and harder to look at myself in the mirror and recognize anything I liked in the reflection before me.

Today I realize that I was being stripped. Stripped of loved ones, sense of security, my dignity, and so much more. Then came the point when I was stripped of a place to lay my head at night.

Unforeseen circumstances “forced” friend/roommates to break our lease. They had their backup set up but I, well I had to figure it out. This lead to being stripped of that friendship, the last from the place I escaped. In hindsight, it was a dysfunctional friendship anyhow.

What a feeling that was. No mom, no family around, no friends, no home.  The feeling of betrayal, embedding itself deep beneath my inner skin, coursed through me with every breath. The tides had to turn and soon before I could no longer recognize myself completely. My circumstances felt too powerful for me to handle. The me I was becoming could not be the me I was intended to be. But I still refused to return to the home I once knew. That home had been dismantled completely and I was in no position to put it back together. The person I was, couldn’t.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

…These days I willingly sacrifice my brokenness to Him.

…These days I am oh so grateful to know He sees the me He knows me to be and not the reflection of what I had once been.

…These days I am learning to see the me He sees.